I was a bit bored, and as I generally do when I am bored, I logged on to FaceBook. Don’t get me wrong – I hate that damn thing, and there is only one reason I am on it – TROLLING! Whenever I get bored with watching stuff/reading/listening to music/writing etc., I log on to FB and then troll through the profiles of friends and people I do not know! In the case of friends, I generally like to troll through those people whom I had known in another life; those with whom I do not have much or any contact (that actually accounts for 99% of my ‘friends’ on FB!). My inability to keep in touch aside, I chanced upon a crazy chick’s (slightly better than NO contact here) profile, who I met in SIES on my ‘feed’. Along side the numerous things that FB has (yes, I really hate that damn thing) – I saw a pic of someone whom I had a faint recollection of – I clicked and I was transported back in time…
I met this person in Pune, when the crazy chick I alluded to earlier had paid me a visit. This other person, lets say x, was the crazy chick’s good friend; and as it turned out, I had been to x’s house before that! I had invited x’s mother/aunt (don’t remember) to be a judge in one of the competitions at our engineering college fest. It also happens that x is a relative of someone I knew from engineering — that’s how we got the aunt/mom as a guest you see. In any case, when I met x, I had had a great time. I remember being happy. Apparently x’s ex-boyfriend (who I also met that same day) had my name as well! Given that my name is pretty rare – it was pretty weird to see another guy with the same name in the same city and talking to him face to face! This is besides the point. So, I saw x’s photo and remembered this meeting. Of course I am not friends with x on FB – I did just meet her once – though I distinctly remember being called cute and if I am not wrong, I remember promising x a coffee date! I am not saying this actually happened – I am saying that this is what I remember. Ofcourse this may just be my own sense of self-pride propelling me, but I distinctly remember the coffee and cute part of it – because of many reasons (jealousy being primary). Who was jealous you ask? Well, not me for sure – I was happy!
In any case, I remembered the incident and continued trolling and hit a wordpress blog of one of the crazy chick’s friends. Now, I knew that all of these guys were part of…well…let’s just call it a spiritual organization…where the youth were by definition MUCH more crazier than I have encountered – well, at least by my sanity measurement standards. This blog had a video and I clicked – as usual. This was a video for someone’s bday and I really liked the creative effort put behind the video (liberal borrows from Chuck Norris not withstanding). Again, meandering. The point is that, x was a big part of the video and I could not help but notice how pretty x was (ahem ahem!). That was when it hit me. It was not just that x was pretty, it was that x was happy. Come to think of it, not just x alone, everyone in the video seemed happy – yes the crazy chick made a guest appearance and seemed terribly happy too (she generally always is).
That got me thinking about happiness and joy. I have never been a great subscriber in the spiritual group philosophy – though I have never felt negative emotions towards such groups as well. Whatever floats you boat! What caught my eye here though was the happiness and zest for life that the members of the group seemed to exude. There was a time when I felt that crazy chick’s enthusiasm was a bit too much (believe me, many people feel that) – but looking at this group of people, I started to question my own beliefs on display of joy and happiness and its origin.
I consider myself a happy person. I am generally satisfied with my life and am mostly cheerful. There are many depressive phases – but that is normal. There as a period in my life when I encountered terribly depressive people and although I did not realize it then, I was getting depressive myself too. Looking at those guys happy and cheerful made me realize that exuding happiness is not necessarily a bad thing. There is no reason to be morose or serious at all. The more I ask myself if I am ‘that’ person – one who can mingle with people without inhibitions – the more convinced I am that I am not far from that person. For some reason, over the past few years, I have let myself get bogged down by my own set of totally ridiculous rules. I think it is time to change and be happy, just because I am. No more shackles and no more inhibitions!
Nov 21 2010.