An Interview with God

I know that I am supposed to write out another part to the SL journey – I am hopeful that I will. But before that I wanted to post this story. It started off in Dallas as an attempt to write a short story – I am not sure that I managed to do that; but I think it makes for a nice blog piece. The ending is there to give the story a cohesive nature. It is a bit long though. Sorry. Oh, and the rules in my head for writing the story were to write one where the entire story is a set of conversations with no indication of who is speaking – the speaker should be clear from the context/content. Let’s see how well I fared then, shall we?

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An Interview with God
Anush Moorthy.
‘Thank you for taking the time out from your busy schedule and being here with us today…hmmm…God?’

 

‘He he, yes, you can call me Lord or God or even Lana’

 

‘Lana? Why Lana?’

 

‘Well, why not?’

 

‘Hmmm, I do not want to argue philosophy with you, knowing fully well that I will lose!’

 

‘I haven’t decided that yet – so, well, we don’t know if you will loose or win!’

 

‘Hmmm…’

 

‘Don’t worry son, I am just pulling your leg. I like a bit of humor, it gets lonely up there sometimes.’

 

‘So – there is a heaven and that is above the earth?’

 

‘I never said that – please do not put words in my mouth! I am omnipresent – what do up and down mean when there is no point of reference? I am up with respect to what? Heaven is up with respect to what? I just said up there because you people have started to believe that I reside above you – I just thought it would be easier if I said up. Though, now I see that I should probably not have!’

 

‘Ok. God. Let me ask you the one question that has plagued mankind for centuries. Philosophers and scholars have thought about it, but have not ever been able to provide a satisfactory  answer to this question. Why did you create man?’

 

‘So, you believe in the Christian version of the origin of man and not the scientific evolution one?’

 

‘Ha…since you are seated here right in front of me, I’d like to believe that you exist and you created us, am I wrong in that assumption?’

 

‘No, you are not wrong. I did create man.’

 

‘So the creationists have it right and the evolutionists have it wrong?’

 

‘Why does the verity of one negate the other? Can not both of them be right? Can evolution not have taken place? Can it not be that I am responsible for all creation? Why is it that you do not choose to see that I am similar to a gardner. I planted the seeds – so I am responsible for you, but I did not just create the fruit!’

 

‘So the Bible has it wrong?’

 

‘What is with you humans and proving something wrong or right? When I say I did not create the fruit, how does that negate what the Bible says? It just says that I created man right? Why can it not stand for a metaphor? Why can it not be as simple as saying that the gardner created the mango! Clearly, it is not wrong. Also, it is not wrong to say that fruits were created when the tree evolved from a seed to a sapling to a tree!’

 

‘Hmmm….Ok. So the evolutionists are right and so are the creationists. You planted the seed and we have evolved from that?’

 

‘Ha. I am not saying that either. I just asked you if that could not have been an answer.’

 

‘Why this need to make everything so ambiguous?’

 

‘Well, what’s the fun for me if I tell you everything straight up? I need to see you suffer through the decision making process and understand the ambiguity right? My charm lies in me being an enigma. If that is lost, well, then you know…’

 

‘Ok. Let me steer clear of this and head to cleaner territories. Since you seem to agree at some level that the Bible was the word of God, is it that you are the Christian God?’

 

‘You are pretty dumb aren’t you? You humans are possibly the dumbest creatures I have ever created. You seem to want everything in black and white. Something is right and something else is wrong! After so many years of studying science, have you not realized that there is nothing in this world which is not ambiguous? I am God. That’s all there is to it. For you I am  theChristian God, for the devout who prays five times a day to me, I am the Muslim God, for that man who worships fire, I am the Zorastrian God and for the guy who offers an idol food, I am the Hindu God. I am God. Plain and simple. Religion is something you humans have created to chronicle my existence. Like everything else in this world, religion is ambiguous too. Let me attest to the fact that every sentence in every holy book is mine. These thoughts have been nurtured by me. Now, I did not ask the writers of the books to create a new religion – they did that themselves. I just told them certain things that they learnt by heart and spread around the world. My words have always been full of ambiguity and open to interpretation. You may think that the Christian Bible indicates that the Christian God is the one true God and all other Gods are not – but that again depends on how you interpret the word God! Throw in the human penchant for loosing languages over time and translating scriptures from one language to another and well – you know where I am going with this!’

 

‘Ok. Let me get this straight. You are the Christian God, but you are also the Hindu God and the Islamic God and the Zorastrian God and all the Gods that people have ever prayed to?’

 

‘You do not understand the meaning of the word Omnipresent do you?’

 

‘Fine, I get it. And I also get that you like to be ambiguous. Moving on then. The next important question that has bothered mankind for centuries. What is the purpose of life? We are born, we struggle to live, and in 70-odd years we die, leaving no trace of our existence. The futility of life and our actions have always baffled mankind. What is the meaning of life, the universe and everything else?’

 

’42.’

 

’42?’

 

‘Yes, 42. Douglas Adams got it absolutely right!’

 

‘You have got to be kidding me right?’

 

‘No, not really. I think 42 explains the meaning of life, the universe and everything else perfectly!’

 

‘But 42 is just a number! I am not asking you a solution to a math problem! I am asking you what  the meaning of life is! What is the point to this existence?!’

 

‘My son, as I said before, Douglas Adams had it right. The meaning of life is 42. You may take some time to understand it, but you will get it someday – I know! he he…’

 

‘Aaaaaarrggh! So you mean to say that an atheist science fiction writer got the answer to a question that many have pondered over for centuries, and the answer is as simple as 42? You do realize that Adams’ atheism makes this ironic right?’

 

‘I love irony. I also love Douglas Adams, just like I love all my children! He was a good writer too – I thoroughly enjoyed reading what he wrote!’

 

‘You read what Douglas Adams wrote?’

 

‘Oh yes! I have read everything that has ever been written, I have seen everything and I have heard everything. Son, I am God. I am everything!’

 

‘Ok – but you are side-stepping the question. How did Adams get it right?’

 

‘You will have to ask him that. Human-God confidentiality and all that!’

 

‘Human-God confidentiality?’

 

‘You know, just like doctor-patient confidentiality and lawyer-client confidentiality…’

 

‘I know, I know what that is! I was just expressing surprise at the use of the term! So, you are still sticking with the answer 42 then?’

 

‘Yup.’

 

‘Hold on a second. You just said human-God confidentiality. Adams was an atheist. He did not believe in you – so…how did he ever speak to you!?’

 

‘You are a dolt. I knew I should have not agreed for an interview with you. I am omnipresent you dummy! I am you, I am him and I am everything – I know it may be difficult to wrap your head around the concept, but try!’

 

‘So, you are also the person who rapes a little girl or one who commits murder?’

 

‘Yes! I am everywhere, in everyone, I am the doer, as well as the action. Remember, I am also the receiver.’

 

‘Why would you let anyone do something so gruesome to another human being?’

 

‘I am not letting anyone do anything! I am you, but I do not control you. I am present, but you have free-will. You choose to do what you want to do! I am just there!’

 

‘Ok. Although I can see that you are trying your level best to exasperate me; I shall refrain from loosing my cool…’

 

‘Ah – that actually means I am choosing not to get angry, he he…’

 

‘Please God, please. Please do not test my patience.’

 

‘But what is life if not a test? How can I mark you for entry into heaven or hell if I do not test your faith?’

 

‘So there is a heaven and a hell, and all of us will be sent there sometime or the other?’

 

‘I love messing with you. Read my lips – OMNIPRESENT – sarvam khalvidam brahma. I am the heavens, I am the sky. I am the birds, the trees, the sun, the moon and the stars. I am the ocean, I am the wind, I am you, I am him. I am hell and I am Satan. I am the punisher, the blesser and the receiver. I am everything. Now, tell me, is there a heaven and hell?’

 

‘….Let me go on to the next question then. If you are everything and you are so good, why is there so much of evil in the world? Why do people suffer? Why do good people suffer?’

 

‘Who said I am good? He he….When I am everything, am I not good and evil? Should I not be kind and benevolent and cruel and malevolent at the same time? I am not saying I am, but then I am not saying that I am not either. Mankind’s obsession to have everything in black and white baffles me. To tell you the truth, I need to go back to my designing board and see where I made a mistake with this design. I thought you would have realized so much by now – maybe I should have reduced the percentage of free-will I gave you; maybe that would have helped.’

 

‘So, there is such a thing as free-will? and there is destiny as well?’

 

‘And again we go into a land that just proves to me that I should have agreed to do this interview at least a 1000 years after this date. Too early – I need to call my secretary…he he. Look my son. My laws are pretty straight-forward. I agree that much of it is wrapped in the cloak of uncertainty and ambiguity and that people have liberally interpreted my words to mean what they want it to mean. That does not imply that I am good, or evil or that I exist or do not. For those who believe in my existence, I exist. For those who do not, I do not. Similarly, for those who believe in destiny, there is something like destiny. For those who do not, there is not – everything that happens to them is because of their actions. Now, one can subsume the other – for example, one could say that there is no destiny, all of it is a result of your actions. Since it is difficult to associate negativity with the actions of a child, you invent multiple births and then associate weights of actions from those set of births – you know, the popular karma theory…You can look to reason out the world as you wish – pure coincidence, fate, chance, pre-destined occurring, will of God – all of it is up to you as a person. Obviously, one thing does not negate the possibility of the other. All of it is right and all of it is wrong at the same time.’

 

‘I am not sure if this interview was worth the effort – I am more confused now than I was before…’

 

‘Who said that this interview was supposed to clear out things for you? I sure as hell did not promise that! Anyway, it is close to nap time and your voice has been troubling me – let me get the hell out of here! Toodle-doo!’

 

 

***

 

‘So, the exact same conversation every time huh doctor?’

 

‘Yes, unfortunately your father is hallucinating; your mother’s death seems to have shaken his mental stability.’

 

‘He just talks to himself, over and over again, everyday?’

 

‘Yes. I am sorry ma’am, but I do not think he is going to be cured anytime soon….’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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